The Past
It wasn't to long ago that my world was filled with darkness. I felt that I had no hope. I had chosen for myself a lifestyle that seemed to eat away at my insides until all that was left was a hollow shell. Not surprisingly that was the point when I felt the most fragile. Feeling like I could fracture into a million pieces at any minute, I turned to anything to fill the void. To say that I have been to hell and back is not an exaggeration of terms. At my worst my marriage was hanging on by a thread, I was battling addiction, and the thought of suicide was a welcome out in my mind. But then I heard the call. It began small and gentle, like a parent calling a child in from play. But I resisted “I was to dirty to come back to Christianity”, the things I had done, the people I had hurt, there couldn't be forgiveness for me. Could there? The call grew stronger in my soul and it had a sense of urgency, like a parent searching for their lost child in the wilderness. Then it finally happened. I broke, I called out with all that I had, all that was left of me, I called out to Jesus. And he came. He met me where I was. Dirty broken and lost, he pulled me from the darkness into the light. I am healed and forgiven, clean and sober, and my marriage is stronger than ever. I am not a fragile shell afraid of breaking, but I am filled with the holy spirit and shatterproof. I have a promise and a hope, a purpose, and a mission.
The Present
I am married to the love of my life. He is my best friend and my biggest supporter. We like to use the analogy that I am the balloon, he is the string. Without the string to hold on to the balloon it would float to high and pop from the pressure. Now the string without the balloon would never get that extra lift upward, it would lay on the ground without a job to do. They need each other, however the string and balloon alone still can be in trouble. A balloon untethered, even with the string holding on still flies to high, with the string is helpless to stop it. That is where our rock comes in ...Jesus. He is the center of our marriage and our lives.
We have a five year old son Eli. He not unlike any other five year old full of laughter and mischief. He keeps us on our toes and we thank God everyday for allowing us the blessing of being parents. Lastly sometime in early April we are expecting the arrival of Noah Paul. The newest blessing God has heaped upon our heads. HAHA.. Look at me BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT! :D
The Future
My steps where numbered and planed before I was known. So I am walking by faith the path that God has chosen for me. I am so thankful of the change that he has made in my life. I know that I can never repay the debt He has paid for me. But I will work where he shows me there is a need, and everyday try to live my life honoring the one who has redeemed me.
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